Broken
by SilentMuse.x
Summary: She was desperate to give him another tongue lashing, but for once, Guinevere Leodegrance held her tongue.


"Arthur was discovered in Lady Vivian's chambers."

Pain. It was the first thing that registered in Guinevere's thoughts. The unbearable clenching in her chest that nearly knocked her off her feet. She couldn't hear anything else, except for Morgana's words. She couldn't even move to put a hand over her chest. She felt paralyzed from the pain.

She heard herself speak. Barely escaping her lips was one word. It felt like it was stuck in her throat, refusing to come out.

"What?"

"King Olaf has demanded recompense. They are to fight to the death."

Gwen clutched her skirts at that. Fear. That was her second thought. Fear for Arthur's life. No matter what he did, Guinevere couldn't deny that she cared for him deeply. The thought of losing Arthur made the pain prominent to the point that Gwen could barely breathe.

" All for the love of a woman. And Lady Vivian at that."

Her sharp intake of breath surely was not missed by Morgana. She turned to look at Gwen with a smile, completely oblivious to her inner turmoil. She was thankful that her tears were too stubborn to show up right now. She didn't need to risk telling Morgana about her feelings for Arthur. Her lady would only show her pity and Guinevere didn't need pity.

"You look more shocked than I did."

Of course. Morgana would register the expression on her face was shock. Shock and disbelief were nearly identical of course. She was surprised that her pain was not noticed upon her face. But then again, she already turned around and walked over to the linens before Morgana had the chance to see.

"It is very surprising."

It was more than surprising. Arthur had made her look like a fool. Of course no one saw her stupidly waiting for him last night, that would have been mortifying. But the wait was humiliation enough. All her efforts to give Arthur second chance was futile. Not when Arthur's affections were for another.

And the third emotion that registered in her body was anger. Why did he even bother sending a note, keeping her hopes up, when he was trying to woo another woman? Was she really that worthless?

"I don't know why he couldn't control his feelings."

Gwen agreed. Why couldn't Arthur control his feelings for the Lady Vivian while he easily controlled his feelings (_or lack thereof, _Gwen thought with a frown) for her?

"Indeed."

Gwen cursed herself as her voice quivered at the word. She could feel the familiar prickling of her eyes, and she scolded herself for that. She did not care, she was not _supposed _to care. So why did it feel like her heart was breaking?

She couldn't take this any longer. She would have take extreme measures to protect her broken, _breaking_, heart. She could not bear to see Arthur fight, or God forbid _die_, all for the love of another. It would be too much to bear.

"I would miss the tourney, if you don't mind. There's so much to organize here."

And she fled. She barely heard Morgana's "_But of course_." She needed to get away. She needed to think. She needed to…let her broken heart break. She needed silence.

But it seemed like the gods loathed her for on the way to the corridor, she came across Arthur and Merlin.

And like a slap on the face, Arthur greeted her _cheerfully _with a "Ah, Guinevere! You will wish me luck."

_He has the nerve! _Gwen thought with disdain. _He has the nerve to call me __**Guinevere**__ in that annoying tone. After all he's done._

With that thought, she couldn't help the hateful question that escaped her lips. "Will _I_?"

Completely oblivious to the tone of her voice, Arthur stopped and turned around to look at the handmaiden with a smile. "Haven't you heard?"

Gwen clutched the basket tighter until her knuckles turned white. She paused and turned around to face the Prince. "Oh yes, I've heard. And sadly not from your lips."

She was desperate to give him another tongue lashing, but for once, Guinevere Leodegrance held her tongue. For once, Guinevere kept her thoughts to herself. For once, she did not speak her mind. For once, she refused to trust her feelings.

Instead, she fled. She fled for herself. She fled for her sanity. She fled for her broken heart.

After all, how could you admit to Arthur Pendragon, the Prince of Camelot, that you, Guinevere Leodegrance, a simple handmaiden to the king's ward have a heart that's breaking because he was fighting for another woman?

But the thing that hurt the most?

It was that Arthur Pendragon didn't even bother to run after her to explain his actions.


End file.
